Foster Cat Chats

Inside Buddy Foster's World

Guest Post: The Life and Times of Tabby

Tabby from The Cat Chronicles is our guest blogger this week. Tabby lives with his translator and human, Pat, aka Angloswiss. Tabby has led a long and satisfying life, always sticking to the motto I, Me, Myself.

Tabby the Cat

Tabby

Meow to all cats out there and to the humans concerned.

It all began 17 years ago when I was ready to make my entrance. I was the first in line to go, there were four of us. It was then that my big fat furry sister, Nera, decided she was the Alpha cat and gave me a push with her back legs and so I was not the first to appear but the second. She was not really my sister, just had the same mum. We felines do not take it so serious, and mum was on the tiles making the most of it. My dad remains a mystery but most of them are. They just left mum to bringing up the kittens.

The time came when mum said the next kitten batch were on their way, and we would have to go. It was then that Mrs. Human arrived and decided to be adopted by myself and sister Nera. We moved out, mum did not even bother to say goodbye, and had our new home. Nera and I checked and discovered it was OK and so we moved in and took over . We had our own Food bowl, but had to share our tray. I suppose you cannot have everything. Mrs. Human used a Monster to clean known as Vacuum. This was not in our contract and the first time she used it both Nera and I squeezed behind a cupboard, fearing it might attack. It seems this was a daily human ritual and we eventually got used to it.

Food was OK, but mainly consisted of vitamin pellets. I preferred something I could get my teeth into. Self killed is always the best. We struck a deal with Mrs. Human for a bowl of tuna fish twice a week. It was not really a deal, we just threatened her at point blank range with our claws and she realized we were on the winning side. As the years passed, we trained our human and she co-operated with our demands. She was a little fussy about letting us sleep on her bed, but we reached an agreement that during daylight her rooms were ours. In the evening we were mostly outside mouse hunting, so we allowed her to Sleep there. She had funny ideas about bird lunches. I never did understand that. After all she often had chicken for lunch. The only difference was the size. I knew who killed my birds – me of Course.  She preferred not to know who killed her chicken. Funny animals humans.

Tabby laughing

Tabby Having a Good Laugh

One day I was on my own, My litter sister Nera entered her 10th life in the eternal corn Chambers, under the Regime of Bastet. Rainbow Bridge? No, forget it. That is just a Story that humans tell to make them happy. You do not get 9 lives for nothing, and when they are gone, you have qualified for the eternal 10th life. I have lost four of my nine up to now, but am not sure where. I think one was because I had a territorial dispute with the cat next door and did not arrive quick enough through my cat flap.

My day is quite exciting. I usually Sleep for 23 hours and spend an hour eating and washing. As you see, it is quite a stressful life I lead. Luckily I have a human slave to attend to the trivialities of the day such as emptying my tray and supplying Food. I used to go for walks expanding my territory, but now I am an elderly lady and prefer to take it easy. Once a year I am obliged to visit the vet. I do not like her and she does not like me, otherwise she would not be consistently prodding my with needles, although since my last visit she has improved her treatment. It seems I now need special food, something to do with the kidneys. At last she has convinced Mrs. Human that real meat Swimming in Juice is ideal for me. Every evening I now get a bowl.

And now I must go. My human has to translate my words from meow into human. I could give you some advice perhaps. The main feline motto is I, me and myself and never forget it. Everything else is second on the list and remember, the human does not adopt you, you adopt your human. They are the best slaves you can find

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3 comments on “Guest Post: The Life and Times of Tabby

  1. angloswiss
    April 11, 2019

    Reblogged this on The Cat Chronicles and commented:
    Tabby here. At last I have become famous and made my pawmark on the blogging world. I was requested to write an article about I, me and myself, my favourite theme, in Foster Cat Chats. I am sure I am now in the narrow choice for a Pulitzer prize.

    Like

  2. Pingback: Feline RDP Thursday: Feline Guest Post | The Cat Chronicles

  3. catladymac
    April 11, 2019

    Isn’t it nice to be recognized for your sterling qualities !

    Liked by 1 person

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