Inside Buddy Foster's World
Life is not a field of catnip. The world does not revolve around Buddy Foster. There is no kitty spa.
I am a foster cat.
The past two weeks have been a journey to self-actualization. I have gone through the three stages of foster cat acceptance – delusion, dejection, determination. (Hereafter to be known as the Buddy Foster Model of Foster Cat Actualization.) The trauma of separation from Mommy and Poppy, internment in a dog infested prison, and installation in a new home all took their toll on my psyche. To deal with this never – before – known stress I became delusional, then dejected before I finally became determined to see life as it is.
Last week I spent at the “kitty spa”.(See my last post.) My poor brain in an attempt to make sense of what was happening to me, convinced me that the house I was in was actually a spa for privileged cats. I deluded myself into thinking that I was on vacation. Perhaps I needed this. It allowed my mind and body to rest and to live through an otherwise stressful period. The self has its own ways of helping us through those difficult times.
A few days ago I came to my senses. I knew where and what I was. Dejection, melancholy, depression are just a few words to describe my mood. My feelings changed. My behaviour changed with them. I am embarrassed now when I think of how I acted. I jumped on tables with the intention of breaking household bric – a – brac, and, in fact, did topple and break a glass bowl. I am so ashamed when I think of how my new mommy didn’t scold me, just swept up the pieces so I wouldn’t cut my paws. I bit mommy several times (but, of course, I never break the skin, just cover fingers with my teeth and look mad). I threw up three times intentionally, once on the living room rug. Again, Mommy was so kind and concerned for me. Even the man didn’t get upset but he had no intention of cleaning it up.
A few days ago I experienced an epiphany. I had just snuggled with New Mommy, eaten my favourite canned gourmet food and was luxuriating in the French Provincial chair assigned to my sole use,watching a bedraggled cat hide under a bush to escape the blustering storm. Bazinga! I had it pretty good! I belonged to that class of privileged cat destined to be forever cared for by man(or woman). I was in the system. My life was laid out for me. All I had to do was be relatively adorable and not too nippy and humans would be forever at my beck and call. I still missed Old Mommy and Poppy but I had found a good home and if I am adopted, New Mommy will make sure it is to a nice family with no other pets and no children.
Life at times seems unbearable for us all but we must be thankful for what we have and work hard to improve it.
I am Buddy Foster and I am a contented cat.
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🙋Hayyy I'm cheLLe 💞 Thank yOu for visiting my perSOnaL bLOg! 🤽 kiCk back and chiLL with me ✌️ Writing is definitely my life's paSSiOn ✏️ it has been since I was in high school 👩🎓 only I never thought I was good enough (for many reasons explained throughout my posts) so, I just stopped writing around my early 20s 📕 It wasn't until I became dead set and determined to work past many emotional issues from childhood 👶 did my paSSiOn for writing return 😍 driving me to pursue writing as more than just journaling 📝my journey in pursuit of self awareness has been bittersweet✝️I have shed beyond several tons of tears from wondering "What could have been if this wouldn't have happened ... 💧yet, as i progressed through my journey ⛵ i also found myself experiencing a HUGE sense of relief 🎧 that brought about a depth of wisdom and peace inside that I'm forever grateful for ⚡ My hope, through this blog, is that YOU GUYS 📑 my readers, will "feel" my words, my emotions, the core of me as you click through my posts 👠 The lessons I've learned 💔 cost me dearly ⌚a cost i wasn't willing to pay 🌧️it cost me damn near everything I had and I'm talking about more than just money 🥇 it cost me a large part of my "heart" 💰 I have just recently dicovered (after a light bulb moment) how emotionally important it was for me to love myself and that was the catalyst that reignited the intense burning desire deep within me, the paSSiOn to write once again 🎠 Yes, it wasn't easy to break through years of wrongful emotional conditioning 🔮 However, I cannot change anything from the past 💒 I'm not bitter nor do I feel sorry for myself and might I add, that I'm definitely not looking for pity 📺 all I hope for is 📣 that through any battles I've fought, is that YOU GUYS as my readers, possibly be helped to realize that you don't have to stay in a bad place (emotionally or physically) and couple that 🎭 with a lot of mind power blended with the amount of determination needed in order to press on despite your circumstances 🎹 you can also conquer your emotional demons 🎈 I'm now closer to the person I was always meant to be before darkness swooped in my life, knowing I was to young to fight ⏳helping someone that may be having similar struggles help make my own demons disappear 🏝️ though I'm a new personal blogger 💄 I touch on some of these special topics, including: 🎶 forgiveness being possible even when you still hate 📖 mental health disorders 👒 (stigma-shame-daily battle of coping) 👣 living with low self esteem and confidence many years, yet breaking free and gaining it all back 🎨 horrors of being a victim of DV 🙏 the freedom felt in becoming a SURVIVOR from DV as well as drug addiction 💊 dealing with stigma & shame of homelessness 🌈 overcoming life's many challenges 🌪️ emotional anxiety terrors⚡being raised by a narcissistic mother 🐲 breaking the cycle of choosing a toxic or abusive partner 🐍 relationship and seXual issues 👫 heartache from breakup 🚷 pain of loneliness 😇 fear of dying ⛱️ tips when facing self improvement 🚥 ADHD daily battles of crazy-thoughts-crashes-anxiety-hyperfocus 😵 I find that when I reach out 👨👩👧👧 to others it gives me a peace 👣 YOU ARE NOT alone in whatever battle you are presently fighting 🤺 I can promise you that my posts will not be boring 🤸 Please LEAVE COMMENTS and follow me ✌️I really do care what YOU GUYS ... my readers ... think 📚 Hugs 💋 cheLLe 🙋
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